News in Briefs FTW

Ah, you've gotta love The Sun's Page 3. It's been running for yonks now (and is quite famous even outside of the UK), and a relatively recent thing they do is have the delightful play on words, "News in Briefs" where the current Page 3 model expresses an opinion about the big news of the day.

Unfortunately, I'm finding it very difficult to believe that these quotes genuinely come from the model in question. (Understatement much?)

To demonstrate, let's take Ruth, 26, from Kent (who happens to be my favorite Page 3 model at the moment). She wanted to express her opinion (allegedly) on the age-old argument that A-levels are getting easier in Britain (from Friday August 20, 2010):

GRAMMAR school girl Ruth is unimpressed with claims that A-levels are easier. She said: “Measuring grade inflation requires objective means of differentiating changes in nominal awards on a common set of exams, and distinguishing from shifts resulting from changes in value such as quality or performance. Rather than focus on that, we should congratulate everyone who got the grades they wanted and give everyone who didn’t a nice big hug.”

I understand that I am taking this out of context somewhat, especially when I'm not showing another quote, but basically they are all written in the same manner. It's almost as if someone is pretending to be the model of the day and putting words into their mouths. But, The Sun wouldn't do that, would they?

I guess the question I want to ask is: WHY? Why are you doing this to us? Are you suggesting that the average IQ of "White Van Man" (the highest demographic of yer average Sun reader) is so low that they're going to read this, stroke their chin and say "Hmmm... yes, this young lady with her tits out raises a very fine point on said subject. I shall pass this information on to my friends down the boozer when I sup on a frothy bevvy."? Boggleth the mind.

If you don't live in the UK and would be fascinated to see what the Page 3 model of the day (Monday to Friday) says, you can always go to their online site (the News in Briefs usually appears in the afternoon, I've noticed) at www.page3.com. (Kind of NSFW: the landing page usually doesn't have any nudity, but be warned that it is a site dedicated to scantily-clad ladies. I've always wanted to use that phrase.)